How to help children to deal with their feelings?
What happens when you deny your children’s feelings?
I can imagine that you already experience this; outbursts, frustrations, resentment…
And I will try to guess that some of the reasons were:
Your child wanted to eat dessert before eating lunch
Your child asked you to buy a toy, or a ice cream...and you said NO to him/her
He/she didn’t wanted go to school, but of course you told them that they have to
You were at the playground, and of course it was time to leave, and your child wanted to stay, so he /she got very very upset
Yes, for us this little list of situations can look so easy!
Why do children get so upset?!
We have to remember one important thing, children are discovering so many things, especially about themself, their emotions, the reaction of their bodies when they get upset, sad…
Why all these tears, why all those screams…? they may not even realise what is happening in them when they have these moments of “tantrums’’, as adults calls it.
As grown ups, we are supposed to know how to deal with these emotions, so here are my questions to you.
Do you know how to deal with your own emotions?
Try to remember when was the last time that you got very upset…
What was the reason, and how did you react to that?
How did you feel in your own body…?
Once you answer to this, think of the last time that your child got upset, and PUT YOU IN YOUR CHILD’s BODY.
Now, without too much thinking, AND STILL IN YOUR CHILD’S BODY write all your feelings, thoughts, emotions…and stop when you feel it is the right time for you, take your time.
When you finish, TAKE A FEW MINUTES TO BREATH, and then GO BACK TO YOU AS AN ADULT, and read the paper.
How do you feel?
I invite you to share your emotions, thoughts...we can learn so much from you!